it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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