Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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