It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
