Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
