I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
