The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
