I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
