its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
