I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The ass gains better be worth it
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