FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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