they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
