i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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