singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
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Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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