I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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