Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
