if you like me you must not know who I am
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sorry my hands just texted you
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i think my cat just said my name.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
