Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
