She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
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as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
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I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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