I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
did i just pee glitter
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize