Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
