the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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