The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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