How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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