He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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