farters have to be the big spoon...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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