"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
