I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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