she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
