And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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