ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
