Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
