Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
