Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
