Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
