It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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