Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize