I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
