It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
