WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
