I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
