Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
