69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
