If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
