You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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