im having a threesome with these popsicles
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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