would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
