Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
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It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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