i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
