Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
