We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
