i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i barfeds in our rink
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
