also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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