Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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