from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
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Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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