no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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