I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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