I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We're facebook friends in real life
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
