Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
