I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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