If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize