No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
